You are invited to the 1,000,000th Annual, 1st never, first-come last-com , International
party, prom, old-time pickery,
pig roast, Washer Championship, Karoake-thon,
early-May Day, early-Memorial Day, beware the
Ides of May!, April and May mega-birthday strava-gorgonzol-off(
We thought of so many good reasons to have a party, we've already forgotten half of them. What we can recall:
April birthday peeps, unite!
And since we're coming at this from all phases of the space-time continuum... May birthday peeps, unite!
Ben's a home owner! (Don't put your Rick James boots on his Eddie Murphy couch, bitch!)
Oh yeah -- May Day, Cinco de Mayo, and Memorial Day were, are, and probably will be, under-celebrated
Hey, we got a garden!
Hey, where in the hell did Jimiyo Go???
There is the slight matter of declaring (another?) Supreme World champion of Washers (as well as karaoke, cornhole, croquet, and whatever other games get played by accident)
We know a bunch of old-time pickers and there's nothing like a picking party
I think we're gonna go to India, so early going away, and extra early coming back!
ASK Apparel is celebrating, like, 4 years of smelling like indigo!
Kailee's back in town!
Because, when you get right down to it, it's all just rock & roll
Because the future only comes once!!!
Beware the Ides of May!!!!
I think Ben's cooking a pig. Or something.
And Shelly's making another awesome cake!
Huey Lewis, fools!
So here's the low-down on the hoedown:
The party proper will start up during like the evening, whatever that is (6, 7, 8, 9, ... ?), but there'll probably be things starting up earlier. If Ben gets the magic to happen there'll be some cooking going on all day.
The theme is "The Future", make of that what you will.
If you can pick, fiddle, or otherwise join in an old-time jam, bring your instrument over. We'd like to have a circle going.
There'll also be various kinds of entertainment going on -- maybe karaoke, games of skill, luck, chance, creativity, and possibly impropriety.
There will be food, but feel free to bring a dish. Feel free to bring your own booze or hooch.
We are getting our invite on, but feel free to invite those people you know who make for the fun of times, don't destroy the furniture, and have this strange problem
where their cash keeps falling out of their pockets in wads of small unmarked non-sequential bills everywhere they go...
(*) Management does not warrant the gorgonzola, the gorgons, the mazola,
crayola, the gonzo, nor the hula. Management cannot indemnify time travellers,
time haters, player haters, hayer platers, party-goers, attendees, pickers, placers, punters, tossers,
kickers, or wanks, nor be held liable for damages or injuries arising
from the utilization, ostracization, or misuse of the gorgonzola, other
cheeses, spray-on cheese products, string cheese (with or without
incident), or post-pasteurized hydrogenated hygronomated hieronymous
(bosch) cheese food product, whether such cheeses and/or cheese foods
predate this or any other applicable agreements, notwithstanding the
lack (or lax, loch, lake, lick, and/or lactose) of gorgonzola or other
similar or differing cheese or non-cheese food, food derivative, food
by-product, or food candidate, heretofore and above defined, denied,
decried, DeVry'd, or similarly mis-, under-, or over-educated, without the
supervision of a participating Rabbi during the cheese koshering
process, all rights reserved, and the home of the brave, (viz., c.f., e.g.,
i.e., et al) nomine patris, filii, et spiritus sancti, amen.